Choiceless Choice

Yes exactly this, I said to myself as a series of events unfolded that once again affirmed that destiny, Dharma, a force other than the small ‘me’ is making the choices in life. I may think the me chooses, but do I really? This is the question I have long wrestled with and there are thousands of books out there that will say YES you have choice. YOU choose.

Me? I’m not so sure about that. Here’s an example:

I was driving home from a hospital visit of a dear friend, listening to the remainder of a podcast I was listening to on the way there.

When that podcast ended, my phone automatically went to playing another podcast that I hadn’t downloaded which was 'Talking with Painters’ one of my favourite podcasts.

But here’s the thing:

The episode that started playing was an interview with a painter named Antonia, who I admire and follow on Instagram.

My first thought was how fortuitous that this particular podcast is randomly playing. I sat up taller in my driver’s seat and listened keenly.

A tapestry weaving itself into her destined design.

Antonia's life story blew my mind.

From childhood to adulthood the seemingly random yet interwoven events about how she ended up a painter was not only incredibly fascinating, it was so clear nothing was directly chosen by her as such. Each life event on her timeline seemed to unfold in a way that was like a tapestry weaving itself into her destined design.

And life is like that.

We think we plan and design and orchestrate our lives.

We like to take credit for making things happen.

We want to think we choose.

This is the maya or illusion referred to in ancient Yogic texts.

This is the play of life referred to by Shakespeare, for one.

When I listen to stories like Antonia’s I know in my gut without a doubt, there is an unfolding destiny. This is her dharma. Yes it appears she made choices in the moments along the way.  Things are presented and you go with it or not. It appears to be a choice, but who is actually choosing?

Just to appease my doubting mind, who likes to think it does have choice, I consulted an astrological perspective on this seemingly random event of listening to a particular podcast (without choice) about Antonia’s life on that day.

The astrology I consulted was the band of 40,000 asteroids that orbit between Mars and Jupiter. A lot of these asteroids are given every day names by the people who discover them. One of these asteroids is named Antonia.

Planet Venus is also in aspect to Antonia in my natal chart as was the planet Neptune. Both Venus and Neptune rule the creative process in Astrology, tying in with the fact that I Antonia is an artist.

So, in other words, no surprise that this podcast about an artist named Antonia played randomly (not randomly) today and I was meant to listen to it.

And just for clarity, I’m not an astrologer. My brain is not wired for it, but I respect and honour the incredible insights that astrology can give us in the same way as have many royalty, presidents, and leaders who have consulted astrology throughout time.

Today was another confirmation of the uncanny way astrology reflects life events.

But even more than that, listening to Antonia’s life journey, the question about choice shows me yet again how our human life unfolds more as a choiceless choice.