The Dao of Retirement

The Dao, if you're familiar with the Dao de Ching by Lao Tse (or Tzu), is about “the way” - meaning the path, the road, the way to do something. The first part of this book says, 

“the dao that can be spoken is not the dao”

A tangible intangible.

This feels like where I am when I say the dao of retirement. Following the impulses. Not figuring things in my head. Tuning more into the energetics (Qi) of life. Paying attention to what calls to me in each moments.  

I’ve reached a point in life where I am no longer pulled to doing what I once did. I could call it retirement for that is essentially what’s happened.

I’ve retired from teaching yoga asana classes in a studio, let go of most social media groups that were about building online businesses, when I’ve been slowly dissolving that aspect of my life. I have been dismantling rather than building. 

Life has a way of filling voids, so I have witnessed things drop into my life as things leave. Not in a necessarily sequential order, or any order at all. 

This overall retirement energy has surprised me 

The surprise is that what I thought of as retiring is not so much the retiring of the physical elements of what I used to do, but the beneath-the-surface motivations upon which most of our society operates from. The productivity driving energy so that we can live. Live in a way that is not only surviving but thriving in this life.

Those under-the-surface motivations are  more or less gone now.

So to be clear, I have an income. It comes from a retirement fund. This income allows me to let go of striving towards making money at this stage of my life. But I still enjoy making money through doing things I love and that seems to continue. 

What’s different is the striving aspect beneath the surface of doings that went along with needing to earn a living. And with that gone, a whole new world opened up.

I didn’t plan this. 

I was never the type of person to worry about my future. I was never good at financially planning for my future. And yet, here I am in a retirement life that has bestowed a freedom I never even thought about.

A freedom that is beyond not having to work.

It's freedom from the beneath the surface motivations of, for example, making every post, photo, or blog I put out in the world about marketing and selling something. To not have that as a driver is the real freedom. For me. Remember this is a personal perspective I share. 

Here's what I’ve found (felt would be a better word perhaps)

I share without an end game or goal.

I don’t need to share. If I do there is no attachment or intention that it will bring me anything. So this in itself has been a big change for me because I operated with an end game or goal for years. Every post I shared, anything I made, had the potential to increase my income. Or so I believed.

I see (or witness)  how life is constantly guiding me

I now flow more with the dao. I now know I am not in control (never was), I don’t make choices, I don’t decide or even make intentions as such. It's always been this way but I wanted to believe otherwise. This is extremely freeing to drop being the "doer" of things, to think I'm in control.  I can’t accurately describe this feeling of freedom. It has more to do with following the energetics, the impulses, and the clues that life presents in the moments, rather than strategizing life.

Some examples:

1. I am a new tea enthusiast. A cha-jin (tea person). I love the whole tea ceremony ritual that brings me into such a beautiful stillness. I came to Bali this year as I do every year and lo and behold this place near where I stay was doing a tea fundamentals course called The Heart of Tea. It started 3 days after I arrived. Of course I signed on. It was fun, informative, and I have deepened my understanding and appreciation of tea. This wasn’t planned. I did not mentally search and seek it out, but it presented itself. Like a gift I could unwrap, or not.

2. Now this one is a really mundane example. Nonetheless it shows how there is always something guiding us to what is right for us. I had a mild tummy issue in the first week in Bali and I shopped for some probiotic capsules. Not to be found. I went to three shops. Of course in those moments I didn’t really get how I was being guided to what was right for me. I just felt a little frustrated. But I’m learning. Learning to trust how things unfold and stay curious.  Eventually I found a drink that contained probiotics and it worked a charm. It was right for me.

Learning to trust how things unfold and stay curious

One can say that’s the key. Trust and stay curious. Don’t let the mind put you in a locked rigid perspective of how it ought to be. Accepting things as they are is Dao. 

This understanding of always being guided can often happen in hindsight.

But this is also very good. Maybe you don’t see it at the moment but if you can look back and see, aha, yes I see how life has guided me to what was right for me, that’s enormous.  Seeing this fosters more trust in life's unfolding as it does. Presence can be presence in the moment but also presence about what already happened. In the recognition of what’s happened there is presence.

Things that help me flow with the dao of retirement

• I do a regular short asana practice every day. My yoga is more about maintenance. I’m not striving to excel in any posture. The consistent practice helps my body feel open and supple and the Qi to flow better. I like this feeling. Plus, this allows me to feel the impulses and energies of life flowing through me.
• I participate in things that bring me stillness. Tea Ceremony. Walking quietly in a natural environment. Being present in whatever I’m doing. Lots of quietude and presence. Even when doing things there can be an inner quiet and presence watching and noticing as you are doing.
• I make pottery - for myself. I don't consider what other people might like and buy. It's simply a pleasure to make things. I love the slowness of working with earth and turning it into something of beauty. The elements of earth, air, water, fire, and ether or ku. I make pottery because I love to make things and it brings me into a quiet place. Of course if it happens that someone likes and buys what I make that is a complete delight. But there is that difference of focus which is big.
• Not looking for approvals, acceptance or sense of belonging from others. This makes being with other people more enjoyable. 

There is probably more but that’s all that has surfaced at this moment.

I hope that you will always honor and love yourself first and know in your bones that life is always guiding you, as it always has. 

Namaste,

Love, 

Aesha