Have you ever noticed that sometimes it feels easier to give than receive?

I’ve noticed (especially for women) that what holds us back from stepping into our true magnificence and expressing love fully is that we don’t actually receive fully. We think we do, we think we are, but often we are not 100% receiving. And if we are at the receiving end we’re often dismissive or trying to give it back.

Clue(s) #1:

• When you can’t accept a compliment fully.

“That’s a beautiful outfit you’re wearing”
“What, this old thing? Oh but look at what you’re wearing. It’s stunning”

• You receive something and you can’t wait to even the scales because you feel uncomfortable if you don’t give something back in return right away

• You feel uncomfortable receiving gifts

Those are just a few examples that might sound familiar.


If we don’t receive fully, we don’t give from an authentic place. Giving from a lack of fullness creates strings of attachment and expectation, and disappointment.

Those strings grow seeds of pain and suffering and undermine our capacity to

• fully express our desires / our love
• feel self-confident to achieve what our heart most wants
• trust in the divine orchestration of our lives
• feel good about who we are and know our value

Societal conditioning has taught us to feel guilty or selfish if we’re not giving out to others more than to ourselves. But truly, unless our cup is full, it’s hard to give authentically.

I had a conversation with my mom who was complaining about feeling obligated to give in a particular situation. I said, before you can give your cup needs to be full. She cheekily replied:

“well that may be so, but it doesn’t help. I have a very big cup to fill”

She knows her cup is huge and she knows that she often gives from a sense of obligation and expectation. Every time she goes to Japan to visit her sisters she brings gifts. I’m aware that it’s customary, but really!! At 84, I said surely you don’t have to still bring gifts. Even her sisters tell her not to bother. But she can’t. She has to give, but it’s more obligatory and dutiful than heartfull.

Clue #2

• You complain about giving, even silently to yourself.

When you catch yourself take notice and give yourself some receiving time (give to yourself) so you can wholeheartedly give from fullness again without a smidgen of resent.

Filling up our cups supports us to be in the world with more confidence, harmony, and increased capacity to share our unique expressions of love within our work and family environments.

It doesn’t need to be a huge effort or require big amounts of time to replenish and re-fill our cups. A simple act of taking a walk alone once a day is nourishing and filling. Or closing your eyes at any time of the day and breathing deep conscious breaths for a few minutes can be replenishing. And really take care that if you find you do need a long time to refill that you give to yourself continuously and don’t feel bad about it.

If you are a giver more than a receiver, harmonize the double-sided coin of giving and receiving by giving to yourself first. Fill your cup up by receiving LOVE so you can give love out to others from fullness.

Ultimately our cups are filled from the source, god, universe, cosmos, spirit: words that describe the energy of LOVE. The impersonal energy of love that binds the universe flows to us infinitely at all times. It’s our job to open to receiving it fully. But sometimes we need help to receive the gifts that surround us.

Helpful Suggestions

1. Practice asking for help when you need it (it’s total bunk if you think you should be able to do everything on your own) And remember everyone loves to give. You’ll be surprised

2. Implement a simple way of giving to yourself on a daily basis (so that it becomes a habit like brushing your teeth) This is your connection to “god” time. Honour this connection to your inner soul-seed and make it a priority in your life. Examples:

  • 10 mins meditation every morning

  • morning or evening walk

  • 15 minutes of stretching your body

These are only a tiny few suggestions. You know all of this, but sometimes it goes under the radar. Decide right now to bring it back into the light of your consciousness and use what works best for you. Make sacred inner connecting time a part of your daily life.

3. Practice receiving outside love and support that assists in filling your cup.

  • Love yourself enough to invest in hiring someone such as a life coach who can support you in living your full potential with more joy, happiness, love.

  • Regularly connect with like-hearted friends that help you fill your cup

  • Find activities that you’re passionate about and enjoy them regularly (dance class, art workshops, etc)

May your receiving and giving be in harmony.